Emotional intelligence in leadership: How much is too much?

In today’s workplaces, emotional intelligence (EQ) has become a non-negotiable skill for managers who want to lead effectively. But while the benefits of EQ are well-documented — better team engagement, improved communication, improved physical health, and stronger decision-making — there’s a lesser-known side to it: too much emotional intelligence can actually hinder performance. 

So, what exactly is EQ? Why is it so crucial for managers? What happens when it’s taken too far? 

What is emotional intelligence? 

MHS, a leader in the field, defines emotional intelligence as “a set of emotional and social skills that influence the way we perceive and express ourselves, develop and maintain social relationships, cope with challenges, and use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way”.  On a more practical level, the definition talks to the following: 

Perceiving and expressing oneself refers to being aware of one's own emotions, understanding their impact, and expressing them appropriately in various situations.  

Developing and maintaining social relationships: Emotional intelligence involves building and nurturing relationships by understanding and responding to the emotions of others, fostering empathy and communication. 

Coping with challenges highlights the ability to navigate difficult situations, manage stress, and recover from setbacks by utilising emotional awareness and regulation skills.  

Using emotional information effectively: Emotional intelligence involves using emotional information to guide thinking and behaviour, make informed decisions, and solve problems.  

Why managers need emotional intelligence 

Managers help set the tone of their organisations. If they lack emotional intelligence, it could have more far-reaching consequences, resulting in lower employee engagement and a higher turnover rate. Higher levels of emotional intelligence help managers to manage interpersonal relationships, which is crucial for fostering positive team dynamics, empathy, and effective collaboration (Landry, 2019).  

Higher levels of emotional intelligence are also positively correlated with more effective leadership, improved organisational climate, better communication, enhanced decision-making, and conflict resolution (Kour et al., 2024). 

Can managers have too much emotional intelligence? 

Yes. Just as underdeveloped emotional intelligence can cause problems, overdeveloped emotional intelligence — when misapplied or unbalanced — can also have negative consequences. Here’s what it can look like: 

1. Overanalysing emotions 

Excessive self-awareness can lead to rumination, indecisiveness, or fear of conflict. Managers may become hesitant, constantly second-guessing their choices to avoid upsetting others. 

2. Over empathising 

While empathy is crucial, overidentifying with employees’ emotions can blur boundaries. Managers may become overly accommodating, struggling to provide critical feedback or make tough calls. 

3. Emotional exhaustion 

Continually managing your own and others’ emotions can be draining. Managers may burn out from the emotional labour of always “holding the space” for others (Grandey, 2000). 

4. Avoidance of necessary conflict 

Managers with high interpersonal sensitivity may avoid necessary but difficult conversations to preserve harmony — resulting in unresolved issues and lowered accountability. 

5. People pleasing 

High regard for others can morph into a desire to be liked at all costs. This may dilute authority, weaken decision-making, and reduce team respect over time. 

What does healthy emotional intelligence look like? 

A well-balanced EQ profile allows managers to feel, reflect, and act with intention — not to get stuck in the emotional weeds. 

• Self-awareness becomes overthinking when unchecked. Healthy EQ keeps reflection purposeful and forward focused. 

• Empathy becomes enabling when it overrides accountability. Healthy EQ balances care with clarity. 

• Relationship management becomes manipulation if used to avoid honesty. Healthy EQ means connecting without compromising integrity. 

• Stress tolerance becomes suppression when emotions are never acknowledged. Healthy EQ processes stress instead of bottling it up. 

Ultimately, emotionally intelligent leadership and management is about balance — using emotional insight to drive wise action, not endless emotional analysis. 

A final word to managers 

Emotional intelligence is a vital tool, not an all-consuming mission. As a manager, your goal isn’t to be everyone's therapist or to master every emotional nuance. It’s to lead with compassion and conviction. To listen deeply, respond wisely, and take action when needed. 

When EQ is balanced, it empowers you. When overused, it can dilute your impact. 

References 

Grandey, A. A. (2000). Emotion regulation in the workplace: A new way to conceptualize emotional labor. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 5(1), 95–110. 

Kour, K., & Ansari, S.A. (2024). The role of emotional intelligence in leadership effectiveness and organisational behavior. Revista De Gestão Social E Ambiental, 18(2), 1-14. DOI: https://doi.org/10.24857/rgsa.v18n2-121 

Landry, L. (2019, April 3). Why emotional intelligence is important in leadership. Harvard Business School Online. https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/emotional-intelligence-in-leadership